


Love, We're In Stalemate

by suckithumbug



Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Gay, M/M, Miles' perspective, Paris - Freeform, Pining, Two fools in love, Unrequited Love, a little bit sad, and then requited love, kind of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-09-18 04:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9367112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suckithumbug/pseuds/suckithumbug
Summary: Sometimes I reminisce about that gloomy September evening. September has that sense of foreboding hanging over it, something that gravitates you inside to just behind the window, where you rest your head on it gently and watch the raindrops trickle down slowly as if it's a race to the bottom...





	1. The Day After You Stole My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone...  
> this is really bad but i promised mike i would write it (he's been waiting ages) so here it is! i imagined them taotu era but if you wanted to i think it could fit eycte too. thanks for reading X  
> \- m

Sometimes I reminisce about that gloomy September evening. September has that sense of foreboding hanging over it, something that gravitates you inside to just behind the window, where you rest your head on it gently and watch the raindrops trickle down slowly as if it's a race to the bottom. And you stay like that until the weather has caught up with your mood and the fog has settled and you can't tell the difference between the droplets on the steamed up glass and those pricking the corners of your eyes and staining your cheeks a glossy shade of red.

I arrived at the venue not too late, not too early and next to me at the bar is a man who I recognise because he's the one who I’m opening for and wow isn't he beautiful? You laughed and I laughed and you said “My name’s Alex, you're staring at me.” and I say “I’m Miles,” because frankly there's nothing else to say and all that's floating through my mind is Alex Alex Alex.

We’d met and talked and drank together who knows how many times. You were my best friend and back then I didn't realise but you were more than that. You've always been more than that. 

The first time I realised, we were alone in an outdoor swimming pool at David’s house because he'd just gone to get us another gin and tonic. You were wearing tight shorts and so was I and we were drunk and free and you pulled me in for a hug and I was so close to your face that I thought I might drown. In that instant I realised I was head over heels in love with everything you do.

It was the next September (in a similar state) that you told me about her. I didn't believe you at first and laughed like it was some sick joke. But it wasn't. You were her’s and you were never mine in the first place. You left for a while and i didn't see you, new album, tour.

I never expected her to break your heart on a torrential Tuesday evening when the dark clouds were rolling over. I never expected the knock at my door and at first I considered not getting it and hoping that the Jehovah’s witness would leave me alone in my state of depression. But something dragged me out towards the door and I always like to think it's because of you and I am always drawn to you, have been since the beginning.

That time in Paris where we pretended to be a couple for the entire day as a joke. A joke. We held hands and looked at art and we are crepes and wow. I was so in love with you. And when a nice french woman offered to take our photo in front of the tower, you kissed my cheek and it stayed tingling.

It's just a joke. It's always been a joke. Who could take it seriously. A sick fucking joke. I opened the door on that Tuesday evening and I saw your heartbroken face and I brought you into my arms and shut the door. You said, “I love you, Miles.” but you were drunk and depressed and even though I relished in your touch, it wouldn't be fair to take advantage of you.

The next day was Wednesday, and the rain had stopped and you were there curled into me. How could I have left you alone last night? I immediately let go of you because why would you want to be like that with me? We were just friends.

“Miles,” you said, “stay here please.”  
And maybe I was just sad, but in that moment, all that mattered to me was the boy cuddled in my arms and nothing else.

When you kissed me the next day, it came out.

“Alex, I'm hopelessly in love with you.”

“What?”

Your eyes grew wide but your grip tightened on my shirt. Complete bliss.

I've stopped minding September so much. But I'll always reminisce about that gloomy evening. Stuck inside like prisoners but now it was different. I had someone else to bet on the raindrop races too.


	2. Come On In, The Water Is Lovely

You always leave too soon. Why do you lure me to the depths of the ocean if you're just going to pull that crooked smile and leave me to drown?

That smile. It both haunts and soothes me. It's the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see at night. It's that moment when all the stars align and miracle happens. It won't stop happening. You won't stop happening. And you hug me and hold my hand and lean in. Only to laugh a twisted laugh.

That laugh. It's vile but I'm addicted to it. No matter how many songs I listen to, birds I hear tweet their morning message and satisfying sounds sweep through my senses, your laugh will always be my favourite sound. And just when I think the toxicity has worn off, you leave too soon.

And now I am here and you are with me and we are smiling and laughing and drinking, thank god! We are talking and you say something like "Hey, Al, let's make a record together," and I laugh and you laugh and I ask if you're sure and you say that you are and all I want to do is kiss you.

That's all I ever want to do.

Miles Kane flashes on my screen; I answer the call. Your voice is so heavenly don't stop talking. I am lost in your lullaby. If I could choose one voice to hear for the rest of my life it would be yours.

But still you ignore me and brush me off like a piece of lint on your shoulder but I need you I breath you and it's always just a joke. A joke that becomes less funny the more and more you hear it. Each time you tell it, the oxygen is knocked out of my lungs and I feel like I'm drowning again.

I see you with her and that does it for me. She's everything that I'm not. I bet she doesn't stutter and blush when she speaks. I bet she's not as clingy as I am. I bet her favourite sound in the world isn't your voice...

You have taken everything out of me and I'm drowning and drowning and drowning and drowning and

You find me on the floor of the bathroom crying. You're not supposed to see me like this but you do you say "Oh, Al," and you pick me up into your arms and you hug me. Days may have passed but all that matters is me in your arms and even though I'm on the brink of suicide I've never felt more at home.

I wake up with a gasp and warmth on my back. I sit up and sweat begins to trickle down my blotchy face. I turn to the side and you are there with me. It has to happen now I have to tell you how I feel I have to do it I have to do it I ha-

"Alex, I love you too."


End file.
